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LAST
LAUGH
One doing the Internet
rounds
From an Iranian
reader
George W Bush was sitting in the Oval
Office wondering which country to invade next, when his
telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr Bush," a heavily
accented voice said. "This is Abul Abed, down here at
Qahwet el-Ejezz. I am calling to tell you that we are
officially declaring war on you!"
"Well well, Mr
Abul Abed," replied Bush, "this is indeed important
news. How big is your army?"
"Right now," said
Abul Abed, after a moment's calculation, "there is
myself, my neighbor Abu Steif, my cousin Abu Yousef, my
other cousin Abu Jreij, plus the waiters at the Qahwe.
That makes eight."
Bush paused. "I must tell
you, Mr Abul Abed, that I have 1 million men in my
army waiting to move at my command."
"Holy
falafel," exclaims Abul Abed. "I'll have to call you
back."
Sure enough, the next day Abul Abed
called again. "Mr Bush, the war is still on! We have
managed to acquire some infantry equipment."
"And what equipment would that be, Mr Abul
Abed?"
"Well, habibi, we have two Mercedes 180s,
and a pick-up truck."
Bush sighed. "Again I must
tell you, Mr Abul Abed, that I have 12,000 tanks and
20,000 armored personnel carriers. I have also increased
my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Ya lateef", said Abul Abed. "I'll be getting
back to you."
Abul Abed rang again the next day.
"Mr B, the war is still happening! We have managed to
get ourselves airborne! We modified a helicopter with a
couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four more
neighbors have joined us as well."
Bush was
silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "Mr
Abul Abed, you have to know that I have 1,000 bombers
and 10,000 fighter planes. The White House and the
Pentagon are protected by laser-guided surface-to-air
missiles. And since we last spoke, I have increased my
army to 2 million!"
"Lah lah lah lah," said Abul
Abed. "I'll have to call you back."
The next
day, Abul Abed called early in the morning. "Mr Bush, I
am sorry to have to tell you that we have decided to
call off the war."
Bush smiled with triumph.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Mr Abul Abed. Why the sudden
change of heart?"
"Well, sir," said Abul Abed
sadly, "our army sat down at the Qahwe to drink some
Turkish coffee. We had a long chat, and came to realize
that there is no way we can feed two million prisoners!"
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