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Sin city sells sex at trade
show
By Ted Lerner
PHILADELPHIA - When you hear the words "trade
show", the picture that probably first comes to mind is
that of enthusiastic entrepreneurs gathered inside a
large hall discussing serious business. The mention of a
trade show conjures up imagines of manufacturers
displaying the latest innovations and the newest,
hottest products in their particular field with big-time
buyers traipsing wide hallways perusing and perhaps
ordering those new, innovative products.
Most
people probably associate trade shows with industries
such as computers, electronics, furniture, travel,
engineering and construction, fashion and housewares.
Interesting to some perhaps, but you'd really have to be
involved in that particular business to get a serious
rise out of those kinds of trade shows.
I
recently attended a trade show in the United States,
however, that would unquestionably cause a stir among
anyone who walked through the doors, regardless of their
line of business. This trade show was held by an
organization called SASI, an acronym for Sensual Apparel
Show International - sensual apparel meaning lingerie,
adult toys and novelties. In other words, the SASI show
offered the latest, newest and hottest products in an
industry not often associated with trade shows: sex.
Now, I am not involved in this business - not
yet, anyway - but the reason I ended up cruising down
the halls of the SASI show was because I have a friend
who just happened to get tapped to organize the SASI
show, which was held in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Like
many trade shows, the SASI show was not open to the
general public. You have to be in the business to
attend. However, I found out that anyone with a business
card who presents himself at the front desk can receive
a pass.
As I walked into the giant exhibit hall,
I stopped for a moment to check out the landscape, which
consisted of about 40-50 booths sectioned off by white
curtains. It was not quite noon and the crowds were
thin. Several people walked up and down the bright,
purple carpet-lined walkways. Some sat at various booths
paging through catalogues. The quiet air of business
being transacted permeated the atmosphere.
At
the first booth I came across, I was greeted by a nearly
naked woman. She was a greeter, and other than the
smile, she wore not much else. She was perhaps in her
early 20s and tall. Above her high-heel pumps, she wore
a tiny little bib around her neck that barely covered
her front along with a string thong panty that bore a
close resemblance to dental floss.
"Hi, welcome
to our booth," she said when I stopped to have a look.
"We specialize in all kinds of adult videos, games and
novelties. Feel free to look around. If you have any
questions please let me know."
On one shelf sat
dozens of adult videos. The subject matter ranged from
the tame sensual massage to sexual positions to
out-and-out hardcore pornography. In another section
there were various kinds of lotions, lubes, potions and
capsules, all designed, and apparently guaranteed, to
drive you and your partner into a sexual frenzy. There
were gels, old potions of lore including Spanish Fly and
Yohimbe Fuel, tubes of "Prolonging Cream" and capsules
called "Activate Her".
Then something caught my
eye. On the shelves behind the videos, several dozen
giant rubber and plastic phalli jutted into the air.
There were various models for sale, ranging in size from
medium to extra, extra large, including models that
operated on batteries and quivered and vibrated at
different speeds. In the sex trade, battery-operated
phalli reproductions are called "sexual power tools". I
wanted to ask the nearly naked girl what size batteries
were needed to operate the extra, extra large model, but
I couldn't bring myself to utter a word. I was too
stunned.
Not that I hadn't seen any of this
before. Shops selling adults gifts like lingerie, sex
toys and novelties are quite common in many towns and
cities throughout the United States. These shops most
often offer a nice distraction for 30 minutes or so, and
you can, if you need to, buy some interesting gifts for
your lady, your man or whomever.
This, however,
was different. This wasn't a shop in a mall; this was a
trade show. This wasn't about titillation, it was about
business. How could anyone discuss serious business, I
wondered, when the item in question is a lifelike
reproduction of some male porn star's member and the
person taking the order is nearly naked? "Yes, I'd like
to place an order for the entire 'Stud Series'
collection, all 24 dozen. Can you ship the order right
away? Thank you."
But my sudden speechlessness
didn't stop me from checking everything out. I figured I
might as well get updated on the latest, the hottest and
the best of the sex trade. And I figured if I could get
a good deal on a line of, say, flavored condoms, there
might be some money in it too.
Evidently, the
big things in adult toys this year are, well, big. And
the more realistic the better. Manufacturers have taken
to casting molds of popular porn stars' assets and
selling lifelike reproductions. One brand touted its
phalli as being made from the "Real Cast" (trademark)
method. On top of this, recent scientific advances have
made it possible to make these lifelike reproductions
out of space age, revolutionary rubbers and polymers
that make them feel "better than real". Better than
real? Ah, what wonderful pleasures modern science has
delivered to the human race.
Apparently the same
space-age materials are being used on the imitation,
life-size love dolls that have been a staple of the
swinging set for decades. In the past, these dolls
resembled something close to a balloon. Now, however,
using the revolutionary new materials, these love dolls
are much more life-like. Some even vibrate, while others
come already kneeling.
Imagine what the
advertisement for such a love doll would be like: "You
say you're bored? Well now you can crush boredom by
spending your evenings at home with 'April the Bra
Buster'. Or how about 'Talking Lora the Love Doll'? Or
if you fancy a well-endowed man, you can always turn to
the 'Big John Doll'."
At this point I figured I
better move on to another booth for fear that I would
soon have to start talking business with the girl. I
began to walk slowly down the aisle, and noticed that
nearly every third booth had a young female greeter
standing out front and wearing a see-through negligee, a
minuscule bikini or some type of studded leather outfit.
One booth, where a boy sat discussing business with a
man and woman, had about 20 outrageously kinky swimsuits
wrapped around its mannequins.
Another booth
sold exotic shoes, mostly loud-colored pumps so tall a
fall from the top of them could result in death. At one
booth, a young man with long hair was selling exotic
greeting cards, while other booths displayed ultra-sexy
dresses and lingerie that left very little to the
imagination. Most of the booths had one or two customers
inside inquiring about products, paging through
catalogues or simply chatting with the owners. A typical
business environment in every aspect, except one: that
this show was all about the business of sex.
One
of the businesses this trade show serviced was the
business of stripping, also known as exotic dancing. And
the brightly colored feathers, outrageous swimsuits and
tall pumps indicated that this show catered heavily to
that trade.
Inside one booth, which specialized
in leather, a woman was kneeling on the floor in the
process of strapping herself into a leather bustier,
while several potential customers watched intently. On
display was everything for those looking for some good,
wholesome fun, to those in search of more raunchy
entertainment such as hoods, masks, whips, chains,
chokers, cuffs, studs and clamps.
I stopped in
the aisle for a moment to watch a man and woman taking
in the demonstration. They were a semi-elderly couple,
rather plain in appearance, the type of people you might
see in church on any given Sunday. Yet here they were,
taking in a demonstration of the latest in human
bondage. I tried to imagine the very business-like
conversation taking place between them and the
middle-aged salesman.
"Leather is big this
year," the salesman would say enthusiastically. "The
return on things like cuffs, hoods, gags and studded
paddles is huge. And we're expecting a big year with dog
collars."
Over at one small booth I found an
older couple selling sex toys and novelties like
flavored condoms and edible panties. "The lady running
the booth went to the bathroom," the man explained.
"We're just friends of hers. I sell cars for a living,"
he added with a laugh.
When I asked if he would
like to get into the sex business, he replied, "oh
yeah," and looked across the aisle at a young greeter
wearing lingerie and welcoming people to her booth. "It
sure beats the hell outta sellin' cars," he said.
Indeed. And as I laughed with him, I perused the
merchandise. The wide selection ran the gamut of silly
erotica: flavored condoms and edible panties, all in a
slew of flavors like wild strawberry, passion fruit,
pina colada and lemon lime; and cheap sex toys and gags.
You remember the "Pet Rock"? Well here there was the Pet
... you can figure it out can't you? (hint: it rhymes
with rock). There were also gadgets that glow in the
dark; the Oriental Love Kit, which offers "forbidden
fantasies from the Far East"; travel kits so you can
take your depravity on the road with you; penis-shaped
lighters and key chains; something called the "Pecker
Pacifier"; boxes of pasta shaped like breasts; and trays
for the freezer that will give you phallic ice - just
what every drink needs. I even saw a "Pocket Pal", which
as the name suggests, you carry in your pocket and,
well, let's just say you'll never again be bored while
stuck in one of those nasty traffic jams.
Just
as I was marveling at the highly creative language being
used in the sex industry, the booth's owner returned.
"Tell me," I asked her. "What's the deal on these edible
panties? You mean you wear them all day and then you're
lover is supposed to eat them?" I questioned. "Don't
they get kind of dirty."
"Well, you're not
supposed to wear them all day," she said, laughing.
When I asked her what they were made of and if
they were popular she responded that it was, "some kind
of gelatin", and that "yes, they're one of my best
sellers." I took her business card, thanked her and
left. After nearly one hour of cruising the aisles, I
had seen and studied most of the booths. I now had a bag
full of catalogues, brochures, price lists and business
cards, clearly giving me a leg up on the competition if
I ever decided I wanted to get into the business.
And as I exited the exhibit hall, that thought
had me feeling good. If things ever get really bad, I
thought to myself, at least I now had a line on some
cheap flavored condoms and edible panties. And how about
those new life-like love dolls? Heck, with Super Shirley
the Party Gal in my briefcase, I might just get rich!
Ted Lerner is the author of a book of
Asian travel tales, The Traveler and the Gate
Checkers, as well as Hey, Joe - A Slice of the
City, an American in Manila. E-mail ted@hey-joe.net or
visit www.hey-joe.net.
(Copyright 2003 Asia Times Online Co, Ltd. All
rights reserved. Please contact content@atimes.com for
information on our sales and syndication policies.)
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