Money won't supply your soup
spoon By The Mogambo Guru
If you want to know the kind of news that
makes my heart lurch with an audible "Urk!", it is
perhaps best exemplified by the knowledge that the
money supply is rising at a rate of over 14% per
year.
If you are innocently asking, "Whose
money supply is rising so alarmingly that
inflation in consumer prices will destroy that
country, and therefore a terrific strategic plan
would be to set up
underworld contacts and
smuggling routes now, in preparation of making a
fortune in the arms and contraband smuggling
racket, as the future becomes a bitter class
struggle between the government and desperate,
rebellious citizens?"
I begin my
enlightening answer with a joke to lighten (get
it? Lighten and enlightening? Well, screw you,
too, then!) the mood, in contrast to the
heartbreak of raw reality. So, I say, "It don't
make no damned bit of difference whose money
supply! Somebody is freaking doomed! Hahahaha!"
My lonely laughter echoes across the
auditorium, and I see that I got no laughs with my
lame attempt at humor. I make a mental note that
the audience is either a bunch of stupid chumps
who wouldn't know real comedy if it came up,
lifted its leg, and peed on their damned shoes, or
they are so smart that they understand the
frightening inflationary implications of a rapidly
expanding money supply and are unable to laugh at
the horror of it.
Either way, I
immediately reveal that it is, alas, the US money
supply that is growing so fast! Gaaaaah!
So if you never had the pleasure of
hearing me say, "We're freaking doomed!", prepare
yourself for a real treat, as I will now use a
famous line from Marlon Brando's portrayal of
Fletcher Christian in Mutiny on the Bounty as I
bellow, "We're freaking dooooOOooommmmmed!" in
your stupid face and urge you to pray to "whatever
pig-god you pray to" to be somehow magically
spared the inflationary horror.
I know
that you don't believe me, and I would have no
respect for you if you did, so instead I will turn
to Addison Wiggin of the 5-Minute Forecast, who
cleverly reveals the truth with some adroit
juxtaposition, and first presents Bernanke as
soothingly saying, "It is not the responsibility
of the Federal Reserve - nor would it be
appropriate - to protect lenders and investors
from the consequences of their financial
decisions", and then immediately qualifying that
remark, "But developments in financial markets can
have broad economic effects felt by many outside
the markets, and the Federal Reserve must take
those effects into account when determining
policy." Hahahaha!
I love this! Now, the
next time one of those snotty little social
workers comes over here, knock, knock, knocking on
my door, complaining about my stupid kids acting
like the destructive little juvenile delinquent
morons that they are, and always coming up with
the same tired conclusion; the father is at fault!
(me! it's always my fault!), I will ask them, "My
fault? How in the hell can it be my fault when I
keep them locked in their rooms so that I never
have to even see them or their faces at all, ya
stupid government morons?" And they will just push
past me like I'm not standing in the doorway and
proceed to "rescue" everybody!
Now, thanks
to Ben Bernanke, I can proudly fling open the door
and say, my eyes flashing and my voice dripping
with smarmy contempt, "I know that it is the
responsibility of a parent to teach their children
not to be worthless, criminal trash, but now so
many people make their living from them, such as
law enforcement personnel, bail bondsmen,
bartenders, lawyers, jailers, graffiti removers,
streetlamp repairers, beer can picker-uppers,
automobile recovery and repair industries, whole
swaths of unemployable social deviants who make a
living selling drugs and contraband, social worker
morons like you wallowing around in the mess and
blaming innocent fathers, and many other people
'outside their sphere of influence' that all now
have to be taken into account when determining
Proper Parental Policy Response (PPPR). So why
don't you take your little forms, and take your
little court orders, and take your big, nasty
butts off my property? Hahaha!"
And this
new legal maneuver of being mindful of "broad
effects" is going to be sooOOOooo sweet at work,
too! So sweet!
And the effects of the Fed
"considering the broad economic effects" is going
to be equally as bad, which brings up the
perennial question "And just what in the hell is
that supposed to mean?" For an answer, I turn to
Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR) Michael, who writes of
his "90-year-old parents" watching the "goings on
in the world and stock market" through the eyes of
direct experience. He goes on to say that "they
thoroughly believe that their generation has
failed to convey the proper morals to the B-Boomer
generation, and even less to the generation
following. They say the result is that we have to
replay the 1930s all over again, except much
worse."
The good news is that they
"offered a few more suggestions" about lessons
they learned the last time the Federal Reserve
acted like a bunch of buttheads and created the
Great Depression by creating too much money and
credit:
"1. We hope you can sell that
foreign car you spent too much money for.
"2. Get a good pair of shoes as you will
need them to walk from place to place while
begging for the jobs you sent overseas.
"3. Obtain good negotiating skills, as you
will have to go low enough to displace foreigners
you have let in to our country illegally because
everyone wanted to profit from under-priced labor.
"4. Eat right. You don't think a hospital
will waste resources on anyone over 50 do you?
They did not back then!"
The funniest and
most practical advice was:
"5. Obtain a
favorite cup and spoon, because even at the soup
kitchens of the 1930s, you had to bring your own."
Richard Daughty is general
partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and
the editor of The Mogambo Guru economic newsletter
- an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on
those who desperately deserve
it.
Republished with permission from The Daily Reckoning.
Copyright 2007, The Daily
Reckoning.
Head
Office: Unit B, 16/F, Li Dong Building, No. 9 Li Yuen Street East,
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