Inflation in heart-attack
territory By The Mogambo Guru
I was sitting there, unsuspecting, trying
to quietly open another beer without my wife
hearing the "splooosh!" noise it makes, which
means that I will be challenged to exercise my
memory when she asks, "How many beers have you had
today, you Stinking, Drunken Piece Of Worthless
Mogambo Crap (SDPOWMC)?" and then I will practice
my lying skills when I politely answer, "One! So
shut the hell up!"
Distracted as I was, I
was blindsided by Doug Noland reporting in his
Credit Bubble Bulletin at PrudentBear.com that
inflation is raging like the insane, devouring
beast that it is, and last month "The CRB index
gained 1.2% (up 16.1% y-t-d). The Goldman Sachs
Commodities Index (GSCI) rose 2.8% to a new record
(up 16.8% y-t-d and 62.7% y-o-y)."
I think
to myself, "My God! This is beyond staggering!
This is the
kind
of inflation in prices that causes revolutions and
rioting!" and then I nervously think to myself,
"Do I have enough guns and ammo to defend myself?"
and then I remember that I do, and I think to
myself, "Hahaha! More than enough! Bring 'em on!",
and then I think to myself, "Do I have enough
gold, silver and oil to defend myself against that
kind of inflation in prices?" and then I remember
that I don't, because nobody ever has enough gold,
silver and oil, or any combination of any of them
in the face of such inflation in prices.
My only hope is that gold goes up higher
and faster than prices, but again my heart is
stabbed by the cold, ugly fact that it ain't
a-gonna happen, as Noland adds, "March wheat
surged 6.2% (up 31% y-t-d)."
By this time,
this shocking news about inflation has me on the
floor, puking up blood at the horror of such
devastating inflation in the prices of things in
general, and wheat in particular, and I am
frantically pantomiming "dialing the telephone"
with the little mobility I have in my right arm,
trying to get someone to call 911 to get me a
little medical attention, and maybe save my life
from the heart attack caused by such terrible news
about inflation.
So I am lying there, and
instead of someone saying something helpful like,
"Oh, my God! Someone call 911 and get medical help
for The Fabulous Mogambo (TFM), as he obviously
recognizes the enormity of the inflationary horror
that is looming out of the economic darkness all
around us, made more terrifying because we can't
see what is happening, but we hear the screams of
people being torn apart and we are afraid!"
Then, unbelievably, Noland decides to make
my distress into a "teaching moment", and he says
only, "Most unfortunately, we've been witnessing
the worst-case scenario unfold before our very
eyes - and it all imparts a bad feeling deep in my
gut."
Well, I think he is right, as I
received an email containing a nostalgic look back
at the era of the 1960s, and it starts off with
the interesting facts that in 1960 the average
salary was US$4,743, a teacher's salary was
$5,174, the minimum wage was $1.00 per hour, a
first-class postage stamp was four cents, a gallon
of gasoline was 31 cents, popcorn at the movies
was 20 cents and a soda was 10 cents, and a brand
new Chevrolet cost $2,529.
In short,
things now cost roughly 10 times or so what they
did 48 years ago, which comes out to about 5%
inflation per year.
The funny part was, if
you are the sort of person who thinks that
monetary insanity and the economic calamities it
creates is funny, that the national debt was only
$286.3 billion in 1960, and now it is $9,300
trillion, which is not a comparable 10 times
higher, but 32 times higher! Hahaha! We're
freaking doomed!
Richard Daughty
is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant
Group, serving the financial and medical
communities, and the editor of The Mogambo Guru
economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to
heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve
it.
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