A deficit of intelligence, insanity in surplus
By The Mogambo Guru
The trade deficit came in at only US$58 billion for March, which I have
scheduled as Prosecution Exhibit # 7,327 in the upcoming Mogambo Court Of
Awesome Revenge (MCOAR), wherein I will easily show that Americans have now
eaten, drunk, breathed and injected so many pesticides, hormones, antibiotics,
fertilizers, plastics, industrial by-products and toxic substances of one kind
or another that the total volume of the mind-altering, poisonous,
cancer-causing crap inside people is obviously producing stupidity and mental
illness of Biblical proportions.
Unfortunately, as soon as I think about that, I realize that all that polluting
garbage is but an insignificant jot of nothingness when
compared to the eye-popping, Sheer Freaking Tonnage (SFT) of mind-altering
prescription drugs and mind-altering alcoholic beverages being consumed, too,
and especially when combined with the massive consumption of various illegal
mind-and-mood-altering drugs, too.
Then again, now I that I think of the economic insanity of the corrupt Federal
Reserve and the whole constellations of insanity as exhibited by Congress, the
electorate, the school system, and the media, it sure answers a lot of
questions!
To even suppose that a country under the influence of so many mind-altering
substances could make a rational decision about anything makes me laugh and
laugh, but not that good kind of laugh where somebody told you a funny joke,
and since you and your barfly trash buddies are already pretty sloshed, you
laugh too long and too loud, and then you repeat the punch line a few times and
comically slur the words in doing so, laughing some more each time, and then
somebody buys another round of drinks and life is good.
No, this was the other kind of laugh, the ugly kind where I demonstrate Mogambo
Utter Contempt (MUC) at such imbecility, but without the optional
message-enhancement of throwing stinky, dirty diapers at the crowd of rude,
stupid people who are shouting for me to shut up and quit ruining their stupid
outdoor wedding, or their stupid outdoor birthday party or disturbing their
Sitting Around Looking Stupid party or something, I dunno.
But the reason for my vicious MUC is that this $58 billion trade deficit for
March was interpreted as, unbelievably, GOOD news, since it was down from
February's deficit of a negative $61 billion! Hahahaha! Good news! Hahaha!
I plan to try this on my wife if I ever lose my mind and decide to go home to
face her and the kids while sober: "Well, I came home roaring drunk every night
last month, but last Thursday, I can home sober! That one time! Therefore, this
is good news! Rejoice, ya nasty old bag! Rejoice, I tells ya, and then shut
up!"
If you decide that you are an adult and you can withstand childish Mogambo
Utter Contempt (MUC), listening to me make rude noises and watching me shaking
my butt at you to indicate maximum disrespect and disdain, then let me slip
into "adult mode", too, and (after straightening up by combing my hair with my
fingers and making sure that my zipper was up) I note in my most grown-up voice
that at this exact time last year, in the merry, merry month of May, 2007, a
mere 12 months ago, we had a freaking trade SURPLUS of $63 billion! Now it's a
negative $58 billion!
So the total swing from a monthly surplus of $63 to a deficit of $58 billion
has been a staggering $121 billion! Wowser! You can probably tell by the way my
eyes spin comically in my head that this is a Big Freaking Change (BFC), and it
scares the hell out of me.
If you cannot hear alarms alerting you to the extreme danger of such a
deteriorating economic condition, then you need an expensive Mogambo Economic
Detection System (MEDS) right away, which admittedly does little more than make
a big racket to drown out the sounds of wolves howling in the distance, which
are coming to eat you and your family alive, mostly by consuming the thing that
would keep you and your family alive; the buying power of your money.
Like for instance, in your retirement portfolio. As to that, I turn to the
"Indexes' P/Es & Yields" table in Barron's, which showed that the Dow Jones
Industrial Average lost another huge chunk of earnings last week, taking the
total earning for the 30 stocks in the index down to $148.27, which was down
from $185.64 last week, and which was down from a relatively astounding $756.27
in earnings a year ago! But the stock market did not go down!
This means that with the index closing at 12,745.88 last Friday, the
price-to-earnings (P/E) ratio of the DJIA went to a staggering 85.97! Hahahaha!
People are still buying those stocks at the most absurd price in stock market
history! Hahahaha!
The fact that the DJIA did not drop by three-quarters into the gutter where it
burned with an acrid flame is Prosecution Exhibit # 4,328 in a separate case in
the Mogambo Court Of Awesome Revenge (MCOAR), the one where I sue the hell out
of everybody connected with the Federal Reserve, the Congress (except for Ron
Paul) and the Supreme Court for being stupid, stupid, stupid, and including as
co-defendants the "investing professional" idiots who bought these stupid
stocks and their sickly earnings to drove the price up so high that it produced
a P/E ratio of 85.97! Hahahaha! This is actually beyond stupid! Buying an index
of stocks with a P/E of 85? Hahahaha! This is, is, is … I am at a loss for
words!
But I can still laugh the laugh of Mogambo Utter Contempt (MUC), and I do!
Hahahahahaha!
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2008, The Daily Reckoning.)
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Office: Unit B, 16/F, Li Dong Building, No. 9 Li Yuen Street East,
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