As the economy goes down, I can see that my poor work performance and lack of
competence means that I will soon be laid off again ("Scram! You're fired!"),
and so I naturally figured that I would go back to someplace where I was fired
so long ago that my previous supervisors had all, hopefully, retired.
But I soon find that their snotty attitude is akin to the respect that they may
have for a doctor who's killed every one of his patients, and who thus never
gets to go back on the staff of a medical school, and if he did, you would know
all you needed to know about that medical school. Ergo, no dice on the job. Or
even an interview. Just a phone slammed into my ear.
Perhaps similarly you know all you need to know about Columbia
University and their Graduate School of Business when you learn, to your
complete surprise, that they are hiring back Frederic Mishkin, another
lackluster member of the Federal Reserve that for the past 20 years has been
the biggest, most tragic, most colossal, most horrific failure this country has
ever seen, in that the Federal Reserve created so much money and credit that it
financed enough inflation in asset prices that it created four huge bubbles:
stock, bond, housing and government! And now a fifth: food and energy!
Darryl Schoon of drschoon.com obviously agrees with my crude denunciation of Mr
Mishkin and the Fed, even though he doesn't say so directly, but says, "While
central bankers and governments do not intend to cause hyperinflation anymore
than drunk drivers intend to crash, they are nonetheless responsible for the
decisions that lead to hyperinflation and deflationary depressions."
Naturally, the mention of drunk drivers makes me ashamed to realize what a big
hypocrite I am, as I can easily identify with them, as I, too, am both a loser
and a coward, always ready to slink out of town in the middle of the night with
the petty cash and a lot of loose office supplies, too embarrassed to show my
face after screwing everything up and then facing the certain humiliation of
getting fired anyway.
Luckily, I had been transferring lots of money from the operating account at
the bank into cash in the office safe in case of some kind of emergency. And
sure enough, here's an emergency! Who says I don't know how to plan ahead?
Hahaha!
But since I can never go back to any of the companies that I almost destroyed
and get my job back, I can still be outraged that anyone would hire this total
failure to teach impressionable kids about economics, when it is obvious that
he has no freaking idea what in the hell he is talking about. I mean, go over
to the damned window and look out to see what the Fed and Frederic Mishkin have
done to the economy! Does that look like the handiwork of someone who has even
a clue as to the basics of economics? Hell, no!
This reminds me of a poem by Alexander Pope, writing about the South Sea Bubble
of the early 1700s which he saw with his own eyes. It opens:
At length
corruption, like a general flood,
Did deluge all, and avarice creeping on,
Spread, like a low-born mist, and hid the sun.
After listing a
representative few of the statesmen and patriots, peeresses and butlers, judges
and bishops, and even "mighty dukes" who were corrupted, the poem ends with the
line: Britain was sunk in lucre's sordid charms. Now it's our turn, I guess.
And speaking of the corruption of being "sunk in lucre's sordid charms", here
comes the Bloomberg.com headline "Wall Street may get permanent credit line at
Fed". Yikes! Hahaha! How ridiculous!
The article says "Federal Reserve Board Vice Chairman Donald Kohn raised the
possibility of giving Wall Street securities firms permanent access to loans
from the central bank, as long as regulators tighten oversight of the
companies." Hahahaha! Oversight of an incestuous menage a trois relationship
like Wall Street, government and the Fed? Hahahaha! It worked like a charm to
prevent the housing crisis, didn't it? Hahaha!
No one paid any attention to my rude laughing and asking Mr Kohn in a loud
voice, "Are you some kind of idiot that you think we would go along with this
engraved invitation to commit fraud and market manipulation?" Instead, Mr Kohn
skirted the issue entirely by answering another question, saying that a
shortage of Treasury securities is "not one of the things I'm worried about",
which is Fed-speak for "The federal government has no option but to borrow and
spend ever-increasing amounts of money until the whole concept of the dollar
disappears into nothingness, and the taunting Voice Of The Transcendental
Mogambo (VOTTM) echoes across this vast void, laughing 'Hahahahahaha! I told
you so, you morons'!"
Even funnier, "Kohn also advocated continuing Fed auctions of funds to
commercial banks and loans of Treasuries to Wall Street dealers even after
markets stabilize", and that these sources of credit would stay open "either on
a standby basis or operating at a very low level"! Free money forever! Hahaha!
This is insane! We're freaking doomed!
Laughing until I am coughing up blood and (seemingly) just about everything I
had eaten for a week, it took me over the edge when the article bizarrely goes
on to say that Kohn thinks "The Fed could limit borrowing to times when the
central bank deems financial-system stability to be at risk"! Hahahaha! Tell me
a time in the last decade when the Fed thinks that financial system stability
is NOT at risk! Hahahaha!
For another example of sheer government excessiveness and how excessiveness of
every kind is always highest at the ends of booms, it seems appropriate at this
time to introduce the Lighthouse newsletter, published by The Independent
Institute, which summarizes the new grotesque farm bill from Congress as "New
US Farm Subsidies Are Pure Pork", which immediately makes you daydream of a
nice pork barbecue, or maybe a nice grilled pork chop, or even (dare we dream?)
some fried pork chops! Yum! Or some bacon!
Alas, my dreams of pork-product Nirvana were in vain, and soon they were back
to being about farm bill, which Representative Ron Paul says "features brand
new federal programs, expansion of existing subsidies, more food stamps and
more foreign food aid", which means that over the next few years, hundreds of
billions of dollars are to be literally given out, mostly to farmers, most of
them rich, and who will get richer, because "Rather than limiting government
subsidies to farmers with adjusted gross incomes of $200,000 or less, the
senate raised that limit to $750,000." Hahaha! Let's have another look at that
Alexander Pope poem! Hahaha!
To make sure that nobody squawks too loudly, there is money for more food
stamps for the poor, too, which (in government thinking) makes it alright!
Hahaha!
The article opines that Pope's "sunk in lucre's sordid charms" is alive and
well, and "Today's federal farm programs are a textbook example of pork-barrel
spending running amok. First created to support farmers - temporarily - during
the Great Depression, they have long been an 'entitlement' for the politically
connected. In 2006, the average household income of farmers ($77,654) was about
17% above the US average. It is expected to reach $90,000 this year."
Fortunately, the only thing that saved us from a lengthy and loud Predictable
Mogambo Outrage (PMO) at this blatant fraud was Independent Institute Senior
Fellow William F Shughart II jumping in to defuse the situation by telling the
old joke about "how to starve a farmer - weld his mailbox shut so he can't
collect his government checks." Hahaha!
Naturally, I practically bust a gut laughing, but Mr Shughart is not laughing.
He says that it is "no laughing matter". I could tell by the look on his face
that he was serious, and when I thought about it, I realized he was right.
We're freaking doomed, and that's serious!
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2008, The Daily Reckoning.)
Head
Office: Unit B, 16/F, Li Dong Building, No. 9 Li Yuen Street East,
Central, Hong Kong Thailand Bureau:
11/13 Petchkasem Road, Hua Hin, Prachuab Kirikhan, Thailand 77110
