Many Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs) were correctly upset at the Washington Post
story that bore the headline "Paulson To Urge New Fed Powers". The poop is (and
you will soon see why I use that particular noun) that Treasury Secretary Henry
Paulson is calling "for the Federal Reserve to be given new, explicit powers to
intervene in the workings of Wall Street firms".
To show you what an unimaginative dork Mr Paulson is (which is almost the same
thing I have been saying for years), give The Mogambo "new, explicit powers to
intervene in the workings of Wall Street firms, the Federal Reserve, Congress
and the Supreme Court, and let me go stomping in there any time I want,
wielding a baseball bat in my Mighty Mogambo Fist Of Vengeance (MMFOV) and
start imparting some monetary and constitutional sense to those morons with (as
the saying goes) a
whack to remember it by, making them do anything I say, whether they like it or
not! And extend my powers to total dominion over cheerleaders, too!"
Well, I should have known that Mr Paulson wouldn't mention me or my wonderful,
original idea that he mostly stole, and instead wants to give the Federal
Reserve these awesome new powers to (get this!) "protect the financial system".
Hahaha!
There is only one way to "protect the financial system", and that is to stop
the damned Federal Reserve from creating all the excess money and credit that
finances the inflated crap that ends up endangering "the financial system"
because so many people have lied to so many people to have them invest so much
money into so many over-valued things, and now losses are inevitable, and on a
scale that dwarfs the economies of the world.
So, once again, I figure he is leading up to the point where he proudly tells
the world that there is a new Big Mogambo Dog (BMD) in town, and that The
Mogambo is (at last!) going to be given a huge salary, an unbelievably generous
retirement and benefit package, free baseball bats, a chauffeured limousine to
take him anywhere he wants to go, and CIA-level double-oh immunity to ferret
out and deal with miscreants and lowlife halfwits, which, in terms of the
Federal Reserve and Congress (except Ron Paul), I realize is redundant as hell,
meaning that their heads are twice as thick, meaning that I will need more bats
and a bigger budget. A much bigger budget! Whee!
Out of the corner of my eye, I see security guards descending on my location in
the audience! Looking furtively about with my beady, rat-like eyes to a route
of escape, I was nevertheless frozen to the spot when he said, "Our nation has
come to expect the Federal Reserve to step in to avert events that pose
unacceptable systemic risk."
I tried to leap to my feet to shout, "No! No! No! The Fed is supposed to
protect the value of the dollar, which it has completely failed to do, and now
it has created so much money and so much inflation in asset prices that they
created the 'unacceptable systemic risk' you are talking about, you moron! In
fact, the Federal Reserve is so incompetent and stupid that the dollar has lost
almost 98% of its buying power since 1913 when the Fed was authorized by a few
corrupt Congressional politicians on Christmas Eve, 1913 when everybody else
was away! And now you want to give the Fed more powers? You're a freaking
imbecile or insane! Or both!", but I found that was frozen in outrage! I could
not move!
Hell, standing there immobile, I also remember that thanks to the complete
failure of the Federal Reserve, the dollar has lost 40% of its value just since
2002! I feel the need to shout, "Why do you think prices have gone up, you
ignorant, stupid halfwits?"
He correctly notes that the Fed "has neither the clear statutory authority nor
the mandate to anticipate and deal with risks across our entire financial
system." You're damned right they don't! It is crazy even to think about it!
But he ignores me and says, to his everlasting shame, the unbelievable
sentence, "We should quickly consider how to appropriately give the Fed the
authority to access necessary information from highly complex financial
institutions and the responsibility to intervene in order to protect the
system, so they can carry out the role our nation has come to expect."
Again, my mind screams out, "We expect you to do the job of protecting the
value of the dollar, which is why the damned Fed was created in the first
place, which the Fed has manifestly completely failed to do!"
I am sputtering in my outrage, and I could not even begin to fathom why in the
hell Mr Paulson is suddenly proposing something so bizarre and extreme.
Fortunately, Peter Schiff of Euro Pacific Capital perhaps answers the question
by noting, "However, with its increased willingness to rescue the big financial
firms from their own excesses, perhaps Paulson sees an expanded Fed as the best
way to ensure the continued prosperity of his former pals on Wall Street."
Hahaha! Exactly! The amount of corruption at the end of long booms is always
off the charts!
And, to be fair, it is to rescue us all, as extrapolating to us all, America is
such a dimwitted little nation that we have literally put all our
investment/retirement monies, both public and private, into the stock and bond
markets! Hahaha! We have put all our future in the one place where it is
required by simple mathematical imperative that the majority must always end up
with less buying power than when they started! The majority must lose over the
long-term! What the hell kind of retirement do you think you are building when
you are losing money? Hahaha!
And sometimes EVERYBODY will lose! Hell, the recent downdraft in the S&P500
index to just over 1,300 means that anybody who bought shares in this index
since October 2006 has lost money!
And now, because so many people are getting ready to lose so much money, here
is the Secretary of the Treasury wanting permission to take over the finances
of every company in America! Hahaha! Un-freaking-believable! We're freaking
doomed! Ugh.
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2008, The Daily Reckoning.)
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