George Ure of UrbanSurvial.com says that it seems that "everyone's coming down
with Ure's Disease", which has the symptoms of an "onset of sudden sobriety and
the realization that there really may be nowhere to hide".
This "nowhere to hide" thing reminds me that it is time to look into the
Mogambo Mailbag, where we find such delights as envelopes with the words "Last
Notice!" emblazoned in red from bill collectors ("See you in court, deadbeat!")
and occasionally one from an actual reader of my stupid Mogambo Guru
newsletter, whose comments mostly run along the same lines ("Are you being
stupid on purpose? What in the hell is wrong with you, moron?")
But occasionally, as in "sometimes to rarely", there is a nice
email from a reader, such as this one here, where the person asks, "I followed
your stupid advice and I bought gold, silver and oil, and now I have lost a lot
of money, about which I am very touchy and I blame you! What can I do to pull
my butt out of the fire?"
My heart goes out to them for their loss, and naturally, since they are readers
of the MoGu, I know that there is something very, very wrong with him or her,
or "it", and I take special care to be kind and supportive.
So I politely answer, "Who the hell cares about you? I have gold, silver and
oil, too, and I have lost my butt here! Now I'll never be able to get away from
my job, my family and my creditors! So leave me alone, you whining little
In fact, I spend a lot of time sulking about my losses and writing hate mail to
those people that are responsible - namely Alan Greenspan, the worthless moron
who was the chairman of the Federal Reserve from 1987 to 2006 and whose
insanely irresponsible monetary theories produced the stock market bubble that
is now bursting, the housing bubble that is bursting, the bond market bubble
which is getting ready to burst and the bubble in the size of government that
is expanding and expanding.
This horror again reminds me of Ure's Disease, which is clinically described
above as "the onset of sudden sobriety and the realization that there really
may be nowhere to hide", which is why gold always rises at the realization that
there truly is "nowhere to hide" except in gold (and silver), as everything
else is down as much, or more!
And if you are thinking, "What about stocks, which my financial planner says go
up at an average of (including dividends) some astronomical rate, such as 8%!",
then you are coming to the right place if you are looking to have somebody
disabuse you of that notion by yelling at you so damned loud that you can feel
little disgusting drops of Mad Mogambo Spittle (MMS) hitting you in the eye and
flying in your mouth that is hanging open in stunned stupefaction at my vicious
personal surprise attack.
Well, I can see from the look on your face that you are, in fact, NOT looking
for that, and so instead of me risking a stroke from attacking you so loudly
and vehemently, I will take the easy way out and present the Chart of the Day
from chartoftheday.com, which is "the Dow adjusted for inflation since 1925."
They remark, "There are several points of interest. For one, when adjusted for
inflation, the bear market that concluded in the early 1980s was almost as
severe as the one that concluded in the early 1930s." Yikes! As big as the
Then I remember that this is 1980 they are talking about, and so to keep me
from yawning and my attention from wandering, they say that this has
significance to me, as "the inflation-adjusted Dow is now less than double
where it was in 1929 and trades a mere 29% above its 1966 peak." Hahaha! They
are right! Nice investing there, Mister and Miz America!
Naturally, I think that the dollar has lost a lot of its purchasing power since
1930, and for stock prices to be only doubled since then means that investing
in the stock market has been a real loser. According to the government itself
(which has every incentive to obfuscate and bend the truth) admitting as much
at its data.bls.gov site, we find it takes $13.10 to buy what a dollar bought
in 1930! Hahaha! Your stock investments went up 100%, but less after taxes,
fees and expenses, while things cost 1,310% more? Hahahaha! What kind of
idiotic investing you call that? Hahahaha!
Chartoftheday.com agrees: "Not that spectacular a performance considering the
time frames involved", which I point out is especially important considering
that this "zero real gain" ignores the fact that this is about the Dow in terms
of purchasing power, but we live, and are taxed, in the other "real" world
where money is gained and taxed in the nominal sense, as in strict "dollars and
cents", where "sense" rhymes with "cents", hopefully creating a lasting
impression in your mind so that one day, if asked if you remember The Mogambo,
you can say, "Yeah! Didn't he once rhyme 'sense' with 'cents'? Which reminds
me… Wasn't he also the guy who was always ragging on people to buy gold, silver
and oil, and when they didn't, he would call them names and tell them how
stupid they were?"
David Morgan of silver-investor.com is apparently, like most people, horrified
to think that he would remember me at all, and hurriedly gets back to the topic
of the stock market, and cites a report that it is not just him and me, but a
lot of people are noticing that "The S&P 500 Index is on track to have its
worst decade performance since the Great Depression!"
The importance of this, of course, is Mr Morgan's intelligent and highly
enlightened use of the all-important exclamation point at the end of his
sentence, which he obviously uses to indicate particular emphasis because it is
important, and I would think it is Mighty, Mighty Important (MMI) to the morons
of the world who still think that everyone can ride the "road to riches" by
investing in the stock market over the long term! Hahahaha!
Gold and silver, on the other hand, are tried and true, and always have been,
where nothing else was, and that is why intelligent people are buying the hell
out of it and, once again, the majority is wrong! Hahaha!
Hey! This investing stuff is easy! Whee!
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.