Completely surprising me, people continue to ask me questions, like I have any
answers about anything - such as, for instance, where I was last Tuesday night
when somebody caused a disturbance at a local Chinese-food restaurant when the
little proprietor had to be instructed that around here, an "order of egg
rolls" means two egg rolls, not one! Two! And no, I did not eat one already, no
matter what the waiter says, what the other customers say, what kind of tasty
crumbs were on my lips or what my breath smells like!
Anyway, as I told the police, I don't know anything about that incident since I
was obviously somewhere else; I forget where, but whoever the noble, brave
customer was, he was absolutely right; an order of egg rolls means two egg
rolls, not one. Two, dammit! Two!
But not even this scandal has stopped anyone from asking me
questions, and one of the more popular questions is, "What in the hell is wrong
with you that you are always yelling at us to buy gold? You make us completely
miss fabulous, fabulous investment opportunities in all kinds of other things,
like that terrific business opportunity they advertise on TV all the time where
my computer makes money for me without me doing anything, and I just sit around
scratching my big, fat butt and counting all the money that comes rolling in!"
As to "what in the hell" is wrong with me, alas, nobody knows, although there
are several theories and a lot of powerful medications to try and keep it under
control; I still hear the voices, but I can't understand what they are saying!
Hahaha!
As to why I continually disrespectfully bellow, "Buy gold right now, unless you
are an idiot!" until my throat is raw and sore from all the screaming, and my
kids and neighbors are likewise hoarse from their yelling back, "Shut up!
Please shut up, shut up, shut up!" - it is because I assume that you are, like
me, a greedy paranoid little squirt and you want to make a lot of money when
this whole fiat-money idiocy collapses.
And I even know WHY you want to make a lot of money! You want riches so that
people will have to come to you and grovel for a loan, and then you can make
them humiliate themselves for mirthful hour after hilarious hour ("Pick your
nose and eat the booger! No, a bigger one!"), while laughing at them
("Hahahaha!), and then, finally, telling them, "No! No money! Now get the hell
out of my sumptuous palace overlooking the ocean or someplace else equally as
nice! Hahahaha!"
But regardless of your motives, gold is always popular at the beginnings of the
busts that follow the booms that you get when somebody is stupid enough to use
a fiat currency (like the US of A and now all the other stupid countries of the
world) that gets multiplied to excess so that inflations in the money supply
causes inflation in other assets like stocks, bonds, houses and size of
government and, unfortunately, food and energy.
And as the bust continues, gold always becomes MORE valuable as everything else
turns to crap and the government starts destroying everything with fits of
fiscal madness in its insatiable quest for more money, more money, more money!
And the reason that the US Congress wants to spend, spend, spend is perfectly
summed up by Massachusetts Rep Jim McGovern, who is quoted by the Wall Street
Journal as having said, "Congress has to accomplish things." Hahaha! Says who?
Hahahaha!
The weird news is that this quote comes in a piece by John Fund in the Wall
Street Journal as he describes how the odious and thoroughly repugnant House
Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her fellow-travelers in the House of Representatives
have changed the rules, and now, "The new rules mean that the only way to push
for a tax cut will be to propose a tax increase somewhere else", which
"Democratic leaders" said "were needed to make the legislative train run
faster"!!
I deliberately inserted those two exclamation points at the end as part of my
Mogambo Editing Duties (MED), mostly because there is nobody here big enough to
stop me or even tell me that I can't, and now I can, unrestrained, use these
punctuation marks to send secret signals to Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs)
around the world that this is some Weird, Weird Crap (WWC), which (if you
bother to look WWC up in your Mogambo Desk Reference (MDR)), means that "We are
freaking doomed to die from consumer price inflation as a lagged result of
excess monetary inflation, and you should be buying gold, gold, gold,
beautiful, beautiful gold in self-defense, and if you are not, then that means
you are some kind of mental defective!"
But we were not talking about how the socialist-communist/fascist morons
running the place have doomed America, but "Why gold?" The reason is that there
will be a lot of rich people selling the aforesaid stocks, bonds and houses, as
that is how market tops are formed and why prices fall, and then the sellers
will have a lot of money sitting there, meaning that now they have to find
someplace to put it, and then they notice that everything else is turning to
crap, and that is "Why gold"!
Nobody is ever satisfied with that explanation, and in the past I always had to
convince people by out-shouting them (which is time-consuming) or wrestling
them to the ground and getting them in a chokehold of some kind (which is
tiring).
I say "in the past" because now I can use the Telegraph.co.uk headline,
"Merrill Lynch Says Rich Turning To Gold Bars For Safety".
Without even the courtesy of mentioning me by name, or how I have been
screeching about this stuff for years, "Merrill Lynch has revealed that some of
its richest clients are so alarmed by the state of the financial system and
signs of political instability around the world that they are now insisting on
the purchase of gold bars, shunning derivatives or 'paper' proxies".
It shows that the rich ARE different in that they are not particularly stupid,
which probably explains how they got to be rich in the first place.
And part of that intelligence is to understand the possibility of corruption
inherent in derivative, paper assets, and to know that with the "possibility"
eventually comes dead-bang "certainty", and thus they shun paper assets and
demand real, physical gold.
And it is that "possibility that leads to dead-bang certainty" that makes the
possibility of the Federal Reserve creating too much money and the possibility
of the Congress allowing so much money to be created so that they can possibly
spend which makes the decision to buy gold, silver and oil so simple that you
shout, "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!" Richard Daughty is general
partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical
communities, and the editor of The Mogambo Guru economic newsletter - an
avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2009, The Daily Reckoning.)
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Office: Unit B, 16/F, Li Dong Building, No. 9 Li Yuen Street East,
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