The first thing that I noticed was that my head was exploding, as every alarm
bell in the fashionable-yet-filthy Mogambo Big-Time Bunker (MBTB) was ringing
(ring ring ring) making a hell of a racket and seemingly scrambling my brain
with pain, which I quickly concluded was because I had a doozy of a hangover,
judging by the half-empty tequila bottles and fully-empty buckets of fried
chicken all over the place.
Hurriedly turning them all off, in the blessed, blessed silence I see that the
reason was simplicity itself: last week the loathsome Federal Reserve increased
Total Fed Credit by a whopping US$164 billion!!!
Note the three exclamation points, which was a choice of
unctuation that was a compromise between my more pessimistic editing-self,
"This is madness!! We're all freaking doomed!!" Which advocated four
exclamation points, versus my more optimistic editing-self, "This is madness!
Everybody is doomed except those who own gold, silver and oil!" Which advocated
merely two exclamation points.
My problem was to weigh the bias of each. The source of my pessimism is that in
the last zillion years or so, Every Freaking Time (EFT) that a government acted
so stupidly as to allow such a reckless expansion of the money supply,
especially to finance out-of-control government deficit-spending and insane
levels of private debt, everything was soon destroyed, and it seems that most
of the time the country in question completely disappeared, too.
My optimism, on the other hand, is because 1) The historical record is also
clear that people who owned gold when their government acted so bizarrely are
the only ones to survive, a fact made especially and deliciously pertinent to
me because I actually own some gold, silver and oil, and 2) Everyone else
deserves the ruination they get because they are the morons who elected, and
who kept electing, the achingly incompetent and suicidally dangerous morons to
Congress who allowed (and abetted!) the Federal Reserve to create all that
excess money and credit, all those years, that financed all the damned
speculative bubbles in stocks, bonds, housing and size of government that are
now popping (or are in danger of doing so) and which are making the government
act even MORE stupidly and the Federal Reserve to act even more insanely, too!
Naturally, I am working myself into a howling rage, inching towards some kind
of open rebellion where I seize control of the USofA by rallying those who
respond to my campaign promise of "Free lunch for everybody! And a free
breakfast and a light supper, too!" by gathering them all up, declaring them to
be "mentally incompetent" to believe in such a stupidity as a free lunch, and
sending them to those secret internment camps that the government has been
Or at least taking away their right to vote so that they can no longer infect
the future with their astonishing electoral imbecilities, but can still keep
working in some menial job for the glorification of the new Glorious Emperor
Doug Noland, in his PrudentBear.com column, has never acknowledged, either
publicly or privately, the Glorious Emperor Mogambo (GEM) as the nation's ruler
and as such, deserving of omnipotent powers, but calmly notes that "Federal
Reserve Credit inflated $164 billion last week to an eight-week high $2.041
Ignoring the sheer horror of it, I instead note that he ends the sentence with
a period instead of an exclamation point, which I take as his clever,
deliciously subtle way of showing that this kind of lowly, disease-ridden
Federal Reserve mental illness of creating excess money and credit has become
so common that it no longer is surprising, and thus is correctly punctuated
with a plain, everyday period.
He then goes on to say, "Fed Credit has dropped $205 billion year-to-date,
although it expanded $1.163 trillion over the past 52 weeks."
Okay, now this is where I draw the line! I note that he does not conclude with
at least one lousy exclamation point so that people would know that the Fed
more than doubling the amount of credit in the banking system in One Freaking
Year (OFY) is something very important!
For this, in a fit of my usual childish pique, I take points away from his
score at the Mogambo Writers Rating Service (MWRS), and I give them to me,
inflating my score, because I used three of them when I wrote, "last week the
loathsome Federal Reserve increased Total Fed Credit by a whopping $164
This sudden addition to my total score means that I am now in the lead in the
race for the prestigious Mogambo Economics Writing Award (MEWA) for 2009, which
I have already won every year for the last 17 years.
To those who object to my fraudulently giving myself the ratings points at the
noble MRS, let me just tell you that although I am incompetent, undeserving,
and the whole Mogambo Writers Rating Service (MWRS) is a fraud and a scam, I
decided to give myself a bonus anyway, and to get them, I took them from
someone else! Hahaha!
Just like the fraud that the Fed and the Congress commit for their Goldman
Sachs/Wall Street buddies every day! So there is nothing you can do about it!
Fortunately, the news media is overlooking this Mogambo Writers Rating Service
(MWRS) scandal, and so I get back to the point, which is that $164 billion in
new credit was created by the Federal Reserve last week, and to make matters
worse, of that $164 billion in credit that appeared, literally, out of thin
air, a full $163 billion of it was used by the Federal Reserve (a private bank
owned by private parties and run by private citizens of various nations, all
without any real oversight by anybody) to buy Treasury and agency debt for
Now do you want to talk about fraud, or about how you should be buying gold,
silver and oil to protect yourself against the predations of a corrupt
government and their unholy henchmen, the corrupt banks who will bankrupt
everybody under an onslaught of inflation in prices except those who own gold,
silver and oil.
Fortunately, it's just that easy of a choice! Whee!
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.