THE MOGAMBO GURU
Monetary inflation and the 32-cent gallon
By The Mogambo Guru
I got an e-mail from Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR) Steve, who writes about "a
quickie from the show Pawn Stars", which startled me into Instant Mogambo Alert
(IMA) because I thought he said, "a quickie from the show Porn Stars".
Alas, it was not, and it was, as the name implies, a TV show about the things
that happen in a pawn shop where people who are desperately in need of a little
money bring in stuff as collateral for a loan.
"A guy brings in", Steve says, "an old gas pump from the 1960s. The price per
gallon is 32 cents. I go to coinflation.com, and the
metal in 32 cents from that time is worth $2.87 now. That's pretty close to the
price of gas per gallon today!!"
Naturally, my eyes were drawn to his highly-informative choice of punctuation,
which was two exclamation points, instantly triggering another Instant Mogambo
Alert (IMA) that, per plan, instantly alerts me, The Mogambo, to the fact that
it has been quite a few hours since I was screeching insanely about inflation
in prices that is destroying us all, a terror that will destroy us thanks to
the despicable Federal Reserve creating so much money and credit (monetary
inflation) that it made ruinous inflation inevitable, which can be easily
deciphered to show that the Federal Reserve, which has already been described
as "despicable", is the terror that is destroying us all!
The whole previous paragraph is a weird, circular kind of logic, I admit, but
it is exactly true, although with a strange construction and limited
vocabulary, probably due to my natural stupidity, or perhaps because I am
scared and paranoid about the Whole Freaking Thing (WFT) with the damned US
Congress deficit-spending us into bankruptcy and the damned US Federal Reserve
creating all the mountains of money that will be needed to be loaned to the
government, and scared of the Federal Reserve itself as the Fed itself borrows
the money to buy the Treasury debt for itself, and now the dollar has declined
so much in value that the metal in three dimes and two pennies from the 1960s
is still worth a gallon of gas! Gaaaahhh!
You can instantly understand that I think the Federal Reserve is destroying us,
which makes me wonder why people who say they want to "help" me want to know
why I am always ragging on the Federal Reserve! Hahaha! I explain to them that
inflation is the worst thing that can possibly happen to a country, as the
entire corpus of economic history of the Whole Freaking World (WFW) proves over
and over and over, until I am physically ill from reading it, and then I start
puking up blood in horror when I see it happening to us! Gaaahhh!
Well, as usual, they nod their stupid little heads up and down like they
understand what I am talking about, and they make little notes in my file, and
they want to know if I hear any voices in my head "right now", and I say, "no",
and then the discussion turns to why I am wearing an adult disposable diaper.
Why? It is obvious "why"!
But, with the heroic patience of a saint, I slowly and carefully explain to
these bozos, "If you truly, truly understood the tragedy of high inflation that
will doubtlessly follow such terrifying increases in money and credit, and the
stupefying, unbelievable increases in money and credit around the whole stupid
world, all to satisfy the insane deficit-spending of governments all around the
world, then you would be crapping all over yourself, and after a couple times
doing that, you'd be wearing a stupid diaper, too! But you don't, and you
aren't, and you don't some more, and it's because you are all stupid, ya
moron!"
Usually, my attempts to educate these halfwits means that my good intentions
are all for naught, and instead of saying, "Hey! Thanks for the good
information, Wise And Wonderful Mogambo (WAWM)! Now I know enough to vote
against any moron who is in favor of deficit-spending by the damned federal
government, a situation that means the loathsome Federal Reserve will, in a
childish knee-jerk reaction with emphasis on 'jerk' to such monstrous demands
for loans, blithely create the money and credit necessary to pay for it all,
increasing the money supply and destroying us with inflation as all this money
starts bidding for the available supply of goods and services!"
This response rarely (as in "never") happens. Usually, the conversation
immediately degenerates into a screaming match about who is the moron, and when
it doesn't, then they want to know why I am wearing the diamond tiara and the
snazzy high-heels shoes, which means that now I have to spend my Precious
Mogambo Time (PMT) to educate these bozos with tips on fashion, too! Jeez! See
the kind of crap I have to put up with around here all the time?
Anyway, my Pedantic Mogambo Lesson Plan (PMLP) is, as always, to have the
conversation wind up by showing them the necessity of buying gold, silver and
oil to protect themselves against the inflation caused by the moronic federal
government deficit-spending and the nasty Federal Reserve creating the excess
money and credit.
Alas, the learning experience never gets that far because the morons think it
is more important to call me nasty names and walk away instead of learning
about how economics works, because if it did, then there would be a lot of
people running around buying gold, silver and oil saying "Whee! This investing
stuff is easy!"
Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group,
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on those
who desperately deserve it.
(Republished with permission from
The Daily Reckoning. Copyright 2010, The Daily Reckoning.)
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Office: Unit B, 16/F, Li Dong Building, No. 9 Li Yuen Street East,
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