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A
nightmare of magic
tricks
The US government's
latest version of that great statistical trick
called a deflator means we can fall asleep
peacefully knowing that inflation is still less
than 3% - and dream of where US banks magically
and silently "disappear" US$49 billion and dream
of why folk are buying Dow Industrial stock that
won't pay back in seven decades. And ... aagh!!
Wake up! Wake up!! (May
9, '08)
A fear of falling Fed
credit
Increasing a
country's money supply by raising debt is
unwholesome, bizzare and utterly discredited, but
that is how it works, which means that when total
Fed credit stands still, as it has just done, that
is worse than bizzare and incredibly unwholesome.
The ramifications are terrifying. This is what is
meant by "doomed". (May
8, '08)
Downsizing on the
menu
The ghastly mess that is the
US economy is giving consumers plenty to chew over
- such as how producers mask inflationary horrors
by cutting portion sizes while pushing up the
cost-per-mouthful of your breakfast favorite. Even
so, eat while you can before your local state
government starts figuring out how to plug the
gaping hole in its finances.(May 7,
'08)
Massage
for number crunchers
Few things
beat a massage for making one feel better,
especially if you're a politician or central
banker with a bunch of numbers that would put you
out of a job if the public saw their naked form.
Unemployment? Give a squeeze here. Inflation? A
dexterous bit of pressure will make it look less
life-threatening. And for the really ugly bits,
try some hedonic adjustment. (May 6, '08)
Gold
price suppression scheme
How long
the present relatively low price of gold will stay
that way may depend on whether the US Federal
Reserve has sold half the country's gold and if it
is prepared to stop at half. At least that would
give us the opportunity to buy more gold cheaply
for a while longer yet. (May 5, '08)
Funny
numbers are no joke
There's
something funny happening to the money that the US
Federal Reserve actually has under its direct
control. It is not just that a bigger and bigger
chunk of this is going overseas. One set of
figures has the country's monetary base rising
steadily over the years, which at least is
positive. Other data show it actually falling.
That's a reason to press the panic button. (May 2, '08)
Banking
on a house of cards
Investors in
Swiss bank UBS have found out the hard way that
putting your cash in the hands of investment
management "professionals" is as good a way as any
to ensure you get back less than you put in. Now
just wait and see what happens to American banks
... and then to American shares ... and houses,
and bonds. Doomed? Absolutely. (May 1, '08)
At
the center of a flood of debt
Look
out any US window and the view is nothing but a
sea of unpaid bills, with all that subprime
mortgage panic a drop in the ocean of woes facing
a low-IQ nation that thinks it can painlessly
borrow and inflate its way out of any debt. It
can't. And if you want to survive the threat of
drowning like your neighbors, sell everything and
buy that golden lifeboat. (Apr 30, '08)
Fried
in the financial sun
Any thoughts
that the decline in bank holdings of derivatives
means all is now well can be thrown out the window
when you consider just who exactly bankers are,
and if you didn't already know who they are the
latest interbank lending claims will tell you. Yet
you still want to hold stocks? At a
price-to-earnings ratio of 57 and climbing?
Hahaha! Suckers. (Apr
29, '08)
Big,
bad, and the bill is rising
The
idea that the US is suffering from some sort of
credit crunch is now so familiar that it is almost
banal. But banal it is not. The reduction in
short-term commercial loans outstanding indicates
that nothing less has happened than a rupture in
the system. And the bill for fixing this is going
to be big. Very, very big. (Apr 28, '08)
Funding the food price
fiasco
Is
there no end to the blithe ignorance, the sheer
insanity, the blind arrogance of the powers that
be when they wonder what to do with other people's
money? Such as the International Monetary Fund
"tackling" rising food prices by having donor
economies give other people money to pay those
higher prices! Duh! (Apr 27, '08)
Magical money from thin
air
Don't be
fooled by the slowdown of the magic money printing
machine smothering the US in increasingly useless
dollars. The Federal Reserve goons have been busy
elsewhere, piling up more assets in the past year
than the Fed amassed in the previous 95, while
flogging off in a mere three months a third of the
Treasury bonds it had accumulated over the same
nine decades. We are doomed!!! (Apr 24, '08)
Glitter among the debt
depths
The credit crisis consuming
the brightest and best of our financial brains has
drawn comparisons with the Great Depression.
Far-fetched? Not if you look at US debt figures,
already way past levels seen seven decades ago.
And large chunks of new debt created courtesy of
the Federal Reserve this year will start coming
due in about three months from now. That means fun
for some of us (Apr 23,
'08)
Disproportionate
derivatives
The idea that the financial
world, built on crumbling stacks of derivatives
piled high to the tune of US$700 trillion, could
replace its foundations with real stuff like gold
is a non-starter, given how the porcine US
Congress gets fat on the present setup. But
something horrible is happening, and the lifeboat
is shiny, metallic and definitely yellow. (Apr 21,
'08)
Inflation of the third
kind
As if it wasn't bad enough
that food prices are soaring along with numerous
other commodities, thanks to the profligate
behavior of central banks and their minions, we
now hear that Russian oil production has peaked.
That's right - we are looking at diminishing
supply and rising demand. And that means one thing
- yet more inflation (Apr 21,
'08)
Heart attacks and tax
codes
Beset
by demons warning of deteriorating mental and
cardiac capacity, the idea that the capital gains
tax was already 5%, let alone was about to be cut
to zero, and hadn't even been noticed, is enough
to induce panic. What else is happening out there
that we are not aware of? (Apr 18,
'08)
The monetarist school of
economic assassins
In the mad, mad world that is
Milton Friedman's insane legacy, a world where we
are discovering that debt does in fact matter,
here's some food for thought. Wheat-farming land
has declined for more than 30 years and food
inventories are the lowest in six decades. And
where do you think food prices are going to go? To
the heavens. (Apr 17, '08)
Melting a Grammy for
gold
Anyone
who still thinks these are normal times is either
on holiday outside the solar system or hasn't
opened their mail recently. Things are so abnormal
that amid the worst crisis since the Great
Depression, US stocks are priced way above normal
when they should be way below normal. It's time
for some heavy metal lyrics; better still, make
that precious metal music. (Apr 16,
'08)
Cursing the loss of
purchasing power
Bond prices and the number of
jobs lost to the United States economy climb ever
upwards while home values and company earnings
pick up speed in the other direction. As the Fed
floods the system with fool's gold, that spells
misery all round, unless you hold the real stuff.
(Apr 15, '08)
Government spending burns the
toast
With
the US financial sector in a Deeper and Deeper
hole and folk get Drummed out of their jobs as
Debt-burdened companies go bust, tax revenues are
also going Down, even as the government spends
ever more of that tax money. That means the
increasingly ubiquitous D also stands for
"Default", "Darkness" and "Despair". Aaagh! (Apr 14,
'08)
Not-so-quiet food
riots
Life
can be a riot, and when the kitchen boss wants
more coins in the food kitty and the beer fund is
threatened by 10-fold jump in the cost of the
stuff that makes liquid happiness possible,
there's only so much you can do - go thirsty, hit
the streets, or buy gold. (Apr 11,
'08)
Perched on an economic fault
line
Weird things are getting ever
weirder as the US financial system cracks and
crumbles - and we're not just talking about plans
to give the economy-wrecking Federal Reserve even
more sweeping powers, even as the gravy flows and
flows through its emergency lending spigot.
There's this: Wall Street's big guns are now
booking gains on the declining value of their own
debt! (Apr 10, '08)
Trillions to go, and buyers
wanted
Collapse of the US housing
boom requires effectively squeezing US$12 trillion
out of the sector. Is it coincidental that Joe
Public can now buy Treasury paper in $100 chunks,
down from $1,000 previously? Is that because
someone must come up with the cash as foreigners
tire of bankrolling US profligacy? Are we doomed?
Yes! (Apr 9, '08)
The government genie flips a
coin
The awesome power of a fiat
currency makes anything possible - negative
interest rates, tax rebates, tax cuts and
increased government spending all at the same
time! Even a negative lease rate for gold! Weirder
and wonderfully weirder. But all the US Federal
Reserve is doing right now is fighting for another
day of economic reprieve. (Apr 8,
'08)
A crude source of
welfare
Food stamps are all the rage
in the US as inflation digs its claws deeper into
the guts of the economy. And the cost of welfare
handouts in the world's oil-producing countries
(think food riots!) means prices will keep on
rising. And if you don't understand what the
solution is, dust off your old Monopoly board.
Every family should have one. (Apr 7,
'08)
Another bar of golden
idiots
The man in the street - or in
this case Frank at the bar - just doesn't get it.
Not yet. But he will. The fires of inflationary
hell will see to that, and before much more booze
passes over the counter. With broad money supply
growing at an annualized 20% pace as the US
Federal Reserve reliquifies non-liquid assets,
things are going to get ugly. (Apr 4,
'08)
Insane economic news of the
day
Where do you start when there
is so much insanity around, the US Federal Reserve
is churning it out as if the doors of every insane
asylum in the country were being thrown open.
"Free reserves" in the banks are a negative US$75
billion! Almost twice "total reserves". What is
going on here? And the price of gold falls?
Utterly, utterly insane. (Apr 3, '08)
Financial humor isn't
funny
The US
may pay a steep price to free itself of its
present woes: bigger government, faster inflation
and a poorer country. That's the good news. Savers
- and that is a lot of people - are losing money
to prop up the big Wall Street brokerage houses.
And that's only part of the bad news. (Apr 2,
'08)
The voyage of the Economic
Enterprise
Nowhere in the history of
Earth, nowhere even in this entire galaxy, is
there an instance of a healthy economic boom that
started after the biggest orgy of speculation and
debt creation the planet had ever seen. We are
done for - except of course for those who steered
us into the mess in the first place. (Apr 1,
'08)
Kids go to gold
camp
Profligate creation of money
and credit leads to complete collapse of the
monetary system and the US Federal Reserve's
touches on the tiller do not mean that after last
week factors that have pushed gold higher since
the turn of the century have evaporated.
Increasingly useless money is still going to pour
into the economy. And that means one thing - and
its shines ever brighter. (Mar 31, '08)
Ingesting the polluted ocean
of commerce
Like they were sucked into
some sort of vast, sucking, gaping whirlpool of
economic insanity, US families blew US$74 TRILLION
in extra household debt in a mere eight years and
that money ain't coming back, no matter that the
Fed has just created $9.6 billion in extra cash to
bail out its Wall Street pals. That's extra
liquidity for you - and it is worse than poison.
(Mar 28, '08)
Inflation in heart-attack
territory
It makes you choke on the
breakfast cereal - not just that wheat prices are
up by a third in one year or that things cost
roughly 10 times what they did 48 years ago. The
US national debt is 32 times higher than it was in
1960! Our only prayer is that gold can rise faster
than everything else - and we know that just isn't
going to happen. (Mar 27, '08)
Risk management
addiction
Former US Fed boss Alan
Greenspan claims amid the worst financial crisis
in 50 years that he eliminated "distressing
inconsistencies of the unsophisticated forecasting
world" in that very period. How? By putting
together a bundle of half-witted assumptions that
ignore what actually happens in the real world -
which is that gamblers lose. (Mar 26,
'08)
Economic stupidity is no
solution
The International Monetary
Fund surprises nobody with its call for taxpayers
to bail out everybody caught in the subprime
crisis. But it's another matter when a Financial
Times editorial urges inflation. Don't folk
understand that keeping the existing structure
intact requires the same degree of economic
stupidity all over again! Only one thing can be
done - keep money supply and debt levels constant
and constrained by gold. (Mar 25, '08)
A bunch of government
gobbledy-gook
Liquidity crisis? When extra
money is entering the US economy at a pace not
seen since a few weeks before president Richard
Nixon imposed wage and price controls? We are
awash with the stuff - unless you are one of the
unemployed, whose numbers are already half way up
to Great Depression levels. (Mar 20,
'08)
Stepping up the spending
surveillance
US consumers blew twice as
much on their credit cards in January as they did
a month earlier, so the American way of life
remains blissfully blind to the impending doom all
around. Yet inflation-adjusted spending actually
stalled for a second month. So nobody bought more!
Things just cost more! A lot more. And those
suckers weren't buying gold. (Mar 19,
'08)
Borrowing is a doubtful
bargain
Borrowing cash to buy now
before things cost more tomorrow is a great idea
if your job is guaranteed for life. Which it
isn't. And it's a good idea if you can pay your
bills in the absence of one month's pay, which
most folks can't. The end of the world as we know
it is nigh and there is only one thing to do - buy
gold. Or two - buy oil. (Mar 18, '08)
Bad news for tax
revenues
As over-bought,
over-promised, over-leveraged, over-the-top
idiocies collapse all around us, losses on this
scale are the worst kind of bad news for tax
revenues and governments and recipients that
depend on them. The Fed has created so much fiat
money, so much credit for so long, that you must
be brain-damaged even to hope that it will not end
badly. (Mar 17, '08)
The dinosaur gold-standard
economy
The
dinosaurs had a monetary system based on gold,
which is why there was no inflation in prices
during the entire Jurassic period, and anyone who
says otherwise is lying. Only a moron would
attempt to inflate the money supply when the
entire history of economic mankind shows that has
ruined everyone who has ever, ever tried it. (Mar 14,
'08)
In phony-baloney money we
trust?
A
Ponzi scam is the essence of most bonds these
days, in a market predicated on pure idiocy. With
M3 money supply inflating at 17% a year and
10-year bonds yielding under 4%, buyers are losing
purchasing power at 10% a year to lock in a return
of less than 5% a year. Time to yell out:
"Caution; professional money manager at work."
(Mar 13, '08)
Golden lifeboats flee the
Titanic
Is
their anyone apart from Fed-hired economists still
wondering whether the purchasing price of their
pay packet is crumbling? Or why people always turn
to gold at such times? If you're fleeing the
family it sure beats trying to carry around bags
of wheat, even when their prices have tripled in a
matter of months. (Mar 12, '08)
Bernanke gets it
backwards
When Ben Bernanke
implies that the whole monetarist school of
economics was wrong and that inflation is caused
by rising commodity prices, especially the rising
price of oil, why does nobody ask the one question
burning a hole in the brains of Mister, Miz and
Missus America, namely, "Why do you believe that?"
High prices are the result of the ridiculous
excesses of the Federal Reserve, not the cause.
(Mar 11,
'08)
An apple a day will kill
you
An apple
a day keeps the doctor away, but the cost of
munching that pomaceous health-strengthener is
rising and not just by a pip or two but to the
very core. Not just crunchy fruit. A commodity
prices benchmark is rising at its strongest in 52
freaking years! The Hesperidian joy in all this is
that the inflation-adjusted price of gold is also
soaring.
(Mar 10, '08)
Worthless money -
guaranteed!
There is no known example, in
the history of the world, where a fiat currency
was debased in a wild fractional-reserve
multiplication by the greedy banks that did NOT
end badly. And 100% of the time is as close as you
can get to guaranteed. It is time to be
frightened. Really frightened. (Mar 7, '08)
Drunk with absolute
purchasing power
If people could buy oil with
gold, the price would have been unchanged for 60
years! Now you see the beauty of gold as money;
your purchasing power is absolute! Prices never
change! Now when will those suckers earning a
measly 5% interest on financing US spending sprees
demand a yield that offsets inflation ... ? (Mar 6,
'08)
Silver medicine for
inflationary ills
The scourge of inflation is
sweeping the land, but fear not. The ideal
prophylaxis measures are at hand, not least shiny,
solid and still cheap-at-the-price silver. Cheap?
With the US dollar falling, falling, falling and
demand rising, rising, rising, even $135 an ounce
won't look expensive. (Mar 5, '08)
A world without
demand
The
amount of money that has been lost in the
derivatives business is worrisome, as sales tumble
93% from the year before. Without demand, supply
overwhelms supply, prices plummet, and without new
derivative sales to finance the existing clot of
derivatives, things go from bad to worse! (Mar 4,
'08)
Food for thought in larder
price claim
It doesn't take a food
hawker, least of all one from the summit of his
profession, to tell us food prices are going up.
But at rates "never seen before"? Food for thought
indeed, unless like The Mogambo you have digested
the risks of compounded inflation and stocked the
larder with gold. (Mar 3, '08)
Heads I win, tails I break
even
It's bad enough that fewer
than a third of workers aged 36 to 43 have any
pension plan coverage. Now folk who have coverage
are bankrupting their retirements to keep up
payments on a house that they couldn't afford in
the first place, that they can't afford now, and
is worth less than they owe! And it's going to get
worse! (Feb 29, '08)
TFC goes down on the
upside
Growth in Total Fed Credit is
slowing even as the absolute amount climbs towards
the trillion-dollar mark. That is no comfort to
hungry folk in Yemen getting wasted as they riot
in protest at the rising cost of bread. But then
they didn't have the foresight to build a bunker
and stock it with that essential of inflationary
times - gold. (Feb 28, '08)
Every clause has a gold
lining
When
can inflation in an "all items" commodity price
index be "only" 15.6%? When it's in euroland, and
the dollar equivalent is 30.7%! And how is a 65%
hike in iron ore prices good news? No wonder folk
are rioting from Jakarta to Milan, panicky
governments from Argentina to China are imposing
price freezes - and the "gold clause" is making a
comeback. (Feb 27, '08)
Nearly perfect
data
Take a 15% expansion in US
money supply, mix in a near-perfect partnership
between money supply and rising prices, spice up
with gibberish from the zombies in charge of US
banks and economy, and what do you have? Yikes! A
sweat-inducing brew that means we're doomed! Long
term. (Feb 26, '08)
Economic miseries by the
second
Fed
chairman Ben Bernanke may have sermonized a
stunned Senate into shocked silence but he had the
Mogambo revved up to shrill-shriek mode. You can
get it all on video, but get those checks sent out
right now before the price soars - along with
everything else!!! (Feb 25,
'08)
Boozed-up Brits can beat the
blues
As the
Western world follows Zimbabwe down the hangover
path of hyperinflation and the US model of zero
savings, boozed-up Brits have the lifeboat for
staying afloat right there in their waste bins.
Get canned and survive! The way to go. (Feb 22,
'08)
Sensible is out, inflation
insanity rules
One of the US government's
really smart cookies quits his day job to go
support "sensible policy solutions"? In this
insane world in which The Mogambo can't get drunk
behind the garage at 6:30am without his wife
yelling at him, and power suppliers tell folk to
use power only at night to save costs, you are
looking for "sensible"? Only one thing is
sensible, and it shines. (Feb 21, '08)
Squeeze along as inflation
bites
There are no prizes for
guessing who ends up paying the bill for the US
tax-rebate handout. Yes - its you! But there is
still room in a tight squeeze to find the perfect
antidote to this painful, painful event. (Feb 20,
'08)
The quicksand of deficit
spending
The
insanity of the $168 billion so-called economic
stimulus bill was bad enough - now we have Nancy
Pelosi raving over its so-called benefits. That
other tortured cry in the night? It's The Mogambo,
weeping at the sheer stupidity of "gift"
economics. But at least he's not behind the curve
like the rest of those poor suckers. (Feb 19,
'08)
Prehistoric problems with
fiat currency
Not only is all the money
that has been lost - trillions in January alone -
borrowed and has to be paid back, commodity prices
are up 61% in five years. If that ain't case
closed on the failure of the Fed's mission to
maintain price stability, grits ain't groceries.
(Feb 15, '08)
Saddled by electronic pixie
dust
Yes! The
Great US Way of deception is catching on. Secrecy
inflation is sweeping the world from Washington to
Britland to Iraq along with magic credit creation
and rising prices. Like ordinary citizens are too
stupid to notice that prices are always going
higher, much higher? (Feb 14, '08)
Add another
trillion
You
thought a $3 trillion budget was monstrous? How
about $4 trillion? And while we're talking about
guns, maybe a recession will force folk in the US
to stop acting like murderous buttheads and get
down to creating a real economy. (Feb 13,
'08)
Oil crisis rush
hour
Get your
hand out of that cereal packet and look at the
price tag - it's going up - along with everything
else, including oil, except the value of your
dollar, which is going down, down, down, down.
(Feb 12, '08)
Enough
claptrap
Lower interest rates may
boost the stock of Mogambo Global Enterprises, but
risk is unchanged as the management is still the
same halfwit who has us on the brink of disaster!
Things are rapidly deteriorating, and you don't
need equations to prove that Ben Bernanke is
wrong. (Feb 11, '08)
Ephemeral
hell
Who
knows what in the hell is going on? Bank reserves
stagnant for a decade and bonds the Fed bought by
creating money to buy them are disappearing. It's
bad, it's blatant corruption. Worse - an even
fresher hell is on the way. (Feb 8, '08)
A 'big budget'
tragi-comedy
The funniest thing about the
new movie I.O.U.S.A.
is the title. The tragic thing is that the US's
national debt of $9.1 trillion is already $500
billion more than when the director was
interviewed. (Feb 7, '08)
Golden prices from falling
supply
The price of gold must
equilibrate lower supply versus higher demand at a
higher price. To those who own gold, or plan to
own gold before things get kicked into high gear,
this means, "Wheee!" (Feb 6, '08)
Freaking doomed by doubling
power
Take a
blank piece of paper and write down a 1, double it
to get 2, double that to get 4, and keep doubling
until the numbers reach a point where you suddenly
leap to your feet and say, "That Stupid Mogambo
Moron (SMM) is right; we're freaking doomed!"
(Feb 5, '08)
A trillion-dollar
smile
The shock of learning that
US$-based mortgage bond losses will amount to $3.2
trillion takes The Mogambo to the brink of cardiac
arrest. But a golden angel of mercy restores him
to his normal, serenely smiling self. (Feb 4,
'08)
Keynesian
quackery
A
piddly US$150 billion is going to make a big
difference in preventing the overdue bust at the
end of the biggest boom the world has ever seen?
Hahahaha! The Mogambo is laughing so hard his
stomach hurts, but he'll spend his $800 on a pizza
- a big one. (Feb 1, '08)
Tragic tale of the last fool
in line
Look
at how high stock prices are, they say. The people
who own stocks must be making money. But according
to The Mogambo's math, the majority must lose so
that a minority can gain, as it is a zero-sum
game. And that minority is usually Wall Street
insiders, banks and government-parasite
industries. (Jan 31, '08)
Indicators signal turn for
the worse
There is reason to think that
the yen will get really strong, which means that
the dollar will get really weak, which means that
gold will really go up in price, and The Mogambo
has already told you what to do about that, but
you don't listen. Bozo. (Jan 30, '08)
Drooling mad
The Mogambo is heavily
sedated, in a straightjacket, and tied to a chair
- the minimum precautions for watching US Federal
Reserve chairmen appear in public, especially in
front of a clueless bunch of congressional yahoos.
While Ben Bernanke pulls the wool over Congress's
eyes, The Mogambo attempts a gallant, defiant
gesture of contempt ... (Jan 29, '08)
Bank-robbery index turns
bullish
Bank robbery is 40% more
popular than last year, and the FBI is too busy
saving America from terrorism to do anything about
it. But the irony is that the real crooks are the
banks themselves. (Jan 25, '08)
A $4.4 billion drop in the
bucket
Of course $4.4 billion is not
enough! The economic system has to absorb
trillions of dollars of current and future losses!
Never mind! Life will get even sweeter for holders
of gold as the Fed et al concoct even more
stupidities to save the economy. (Jan 24,
'08)
Passing the buck
If you want to know why
America is doomed, the St Louis Federal Reserve
boss can tell you. It's because the Fed is a pit
of vipers that cannot be trusted, and the ratings
agencies are even worse, and only an idiot would
trust these organizations to tell you the correct
time of day. (Jan 23, '08)
Oil battles gold for
investment supremacy
The price of gold doesn't
matter, as all The Mogambo wants is a little
gasoline. And a pizza. And some beer to wash it
down with, too. (Jan 22, '08)
Today's forecast is ... hey,
it's lunchtime!
US Fed chairman Ben Bernanke
is ready to take "substantive additional action",
which the media and markets take as "Rates are
going down, dudes!", and The Mogambo interprets as
"Inflation in prices is going up, dudes!". Anyway,
don't look out the window: if inflation hasn't
taken the food off your table, The Mogambo will.
(Jan 18, '08)
Let gold yell for
you
Heard the joke
about "investing for the long term" to "fund your
retirement"? The Mogambo's throat is raw and sore
from yelling and calling people idiots for
believing such nonsense, so now he justs points to
a chart that shows the Dow adjusted for inflation
since 1925, and laughs. (Jan 17, '08)
The Metaphor Bandit on the
prowl
Diets are like Santa Claus
and Santa is like excess money, and saying that
the falling US dollar has nothing to do with
inflation is like nominating The Mogambo for
"Father of the Year", or saying the UAE central
bank governor is not an ass. (Jan 16,
'08)
Free money to the
rescue
The Mogambo reveals to Regis
and Kelly, all the viewers at home, and ATol
readers everywhere the Big Freaking Lesson gleaned
from 4,000 years of economic history. And it is
... come closer ... closer! ... (Jan 15,
'08)
Gold in the time of economic
cholera
There are those of us who
wonder aloud, and say, "Is the last 25 years truly
indicative of gold's seeming long-term $1,500 per
ounce value? Perhaps not! Let The Mogambo speak
about this and other matters!" (Jan 14,
'08)
Incredible inedible
ethanol
An entire third
of the grain output of the American farm system
will disappear from the world's food supply as it
is turned into ethanol, and that's on top of the
terrifying increases in food prices we are already
seeing. Starvation leads to nastiness, writes The
Mogambo (see also Big
Mogambo Book Of Economic Stuff, Chapter 10,
"The Lesson To Be Learned From The French
Revolution And Several More Since Then"). (Jan 11,
'08)
Free money popular? Surprise,
surprise
The Fed, patting itself on
the back for providing new loans for cash-strapped
banks, is now increasing by 50% the amount it is
throwing away to these poor, subprime-benighted
lenders. Success? Disastrous! And yet another sign
of the Fed's dismal failure to do its job. (Jan 10,
'08)
Will work for
taxes
Has it come to this? That we
are now ravenous vampires sucking the life-blood
of aging citizens by driving septua- and even
octogenarians out to seek part-time work to pay
off property taxes! Their not-too-menial
contribution might help cover school budgets, but
it is Evil! Evil! Evil! and all part of the
government ruining your life, the dollar and the
economy of the USA. (Jan 9, '08)
The cornered rat
defense
When
confronted by a compelling argument that
contradicts your own, don't hem and haw and cast
personal aspersions, attack, like George Armstrong
Custer, without mercy. Get right in THEIR stupid
little faces and demand that THEY come up with
some cash, you deadbeat losers, and right now, or
I'm calling the cops! (Jan 8, '08)
Courting disaster
The judges of
the US Supreme Court want a pay rise, no doubt
because price inflation is killing them. Yet it
was the Supreme Court that traitorously overthrew
the constitutional requirement that money had to
be gold or silver, and in so doing set the
wage-price spiral in motion. The Mogambo is
spitting mad.(Jan 7, '08)
Solid gold silver
surge
Gold at $1,200 an ounce by
the end of 2008? That's nothing - look for silver
to hit $30. The stuff is selling for 15 bucks
right now. Can anyone lend The Mogambo $15?
(Jan 4, '08)
Well worth the 20
bucks
The
total US national debt is over
$9,120,000,000,000.00 and the nation's financial
statements are such a torrid mess that the top
auditor balks at giving an opinion.
Inflation-stoking idiocy means we're all doomed,
but the people with gold - and the bunkers - will
be the last to go. (Jan 3, '08)
The Santa Cigarettes
Caper
Santa brought me a
carton of cigarettes for Christmas, which is a lot
like the US Federal Reserve giving money away; it
is widely appreciated and craved, even though it
is obvious that the money is poisonous. (Jan 2,
'08)
To negative infinity - and
beyond
American banks have
loaned every additional dime of the trillions of
dollars that they have taken in over the past
eight years. No additional reserves at all have
been added. Not a freaking additional dime of
reserves has been added in a decade or more.
(Dec 20, '07)
Economics ain't
pretty
It's
rising prices that make it look like US factory
orders increased, and are the reason why I am
gagging up blood, and if any of it gets on your
shoes, don't blame me - I never said economics was
pretty. (Dec 19, '07)
Brave new
Mogambo
The
news is so terrible that I'm thinking I should not
be out here in the open, but securely locked down
in the Mogambo Fortress Of Angry Solitude against
the inflationary horror that is descending upon
us. I cry and whine and beg them to stop telling
me these things. Then they hit me with: "Things
can clearly get much worse." (Dec 18,
'07)
Mogambo noir
What is wrong
with Dashiell Hamett's economics, why the country
is really "on the bum", and how not to go on the
bum with it. (Dec 17, '07)
An economic law of
physics
I was
thinking about doing a little research to find out
if there has been any time, ever, when stocks
selling at a P/E of more than 18 had ever, EVER
had a huge drop in earnings like this when the
stock market and the whole economic thing did NOT
go to hell. Then I realized that this would entail
a lot of work. Luckily, a little-known law of
physics arrived to save me. (Dec 14,
'07)
Living the nightmare of
Hamiltonian economics
We have finally overruled the
Jeffersonian republic that made America into the
world power that it became, in favor of that
Hamiltonian nightmare of a huge, powerful,
dictatorial, fascist federal government. (Dec 12,
'07)
Subprimed to lose lots of
money
The US
Conference of Mayors says that the US housing
slump is going to slash tax revenue by more than
$6.6 billion. Then there's the multiplier effect,
which means that actually between five and eight
times that much will be lost income and lost
taxes. (Dec 11, '07)
Weak dollar induces a dream
world
The
Cold, Cruel Laughter Of The Mogambo (CCLOTM) is
mocking and scornful at the stupidity of people
still buying into that "buy and hold", "investing
for the long term" nonsense. Hahaha! (Dec 10,
'07)
Bulls for bullion
No certificates.
No accounts. No receipts. Just heavy chunks of
gleaming yellow gold in your sweaty little hand.
However, if you are happy to take someone's word
for it that they are holding gold for you, then
there is exciting news for you: the Mogambo Gold
Bullion Storage Service is now in operation. (Dec 7,
'07)
Lost in the wage-price
spiral
It's
not just us Americans. It is reported that
"Money-supply growth in the euro region
accelerated to the fastest pace in more than 28
years, adding to the European Central Bank's
inflation concerns." "Adding to concerns", they
say! Also adding to concerns may be the fact that
while German inflation is at a 13-year high,
unemployment is near a 15-year low, and the
wage-price spiral is spiraling. (Dec 6,
'07)
The shock of a thousand
trillion
We
are talking about a quadrillion freaking dollars!
This, we are told, is the size of the black hole
in the world economy ... When I regain my senses,
my colleagues demand that I get back to work.
Little do they realize that real,
inflation-adjusted wages today are one fifth less
than they were in 1972 ... I pass out again ...
(Dec 5, '07)
Traumatized by inflationary
gunfire
We
are not talking about The Mogambo or his closet of
bullion, or even how some snotty "mental health
professionals" think his stupid kids are now
"scarred for life" because of a little gunfire and
vague death threats for trespassing in the Mogambo
Forbidden Zone. Instead, we're talking about
inflation and oil. (Dec 4, '07)
Just desserts aren't so
absurd
Zimbabwe is to get new bank
notes as the old ones are obsolete due to
inflation of 15,000%. And it is highly instructive
that President Robert Mugabe has a master's degree
in economics from the University of London. (Dec 3,
'07)
Commodities benefit from
megaforces
Why you should be buying gold
right now, instead of reading this stupid Mogambo
column. And why The Mogambo should be buying gold,
instead of writing about it. (Nov 30,
'07)
The cold comfort of economic
collapse
We're talking $3.6 trillion
in subprime-related losses. The entire gross
domestic product of the United States is only
about $14 trillion. So we're losing, at a stroke,
the equivalent of 26% of everything we make in an
entire year? (Nov 29, '07)
Never enough gold
jewelry
Investment demand has
replaced jewelry buying as the major driver of
gold sales. So now women will be saying, "Don't
buy me any more jewelry! Buy gold bullion as an
investment, instead!" (Nov 28, '07)
Economic hell to
pay
The Fed
steadfastly believes that there is always a level
of interest rates that will lead to more
borrowing, and more economic growth and more
wonderful economic splendor. Like me getting drunk
and surly, and then thinking that getting drunker
makes me more convivial. It does - for a while.
And then, as in economics, there is hell to pay.
(Nov 27, '07)
The debt-ridden tooth fairy
My surly son
has just concluded his daily ritual of asking me
to give him some money. Today he's whining about
how his stupid abscessed tooth is now so painful
that it can't wait a few more lousy days until my
cash flow gets back in its groove. He even
volunteers to pay me back! So I tell him, as a way
of changing the subject, about the insane levels
of debt in the world. (Nov 26, '07)
Twilight Zone buying power
Using real - as
opposed to Fed - inflation data, it turns out that
a 1980 barrel of US$39.50 crude oil is the
equivalent of over US$200 per barrel in today's
anemic dollars. Oil at $100 suddenly looks cheap.
(Nov 21, '07)
More than 'sheets' hitting
the fan
We're
talking about banks' balance sheets, and the
numbers seem so horrific that we are suddenly
thinking about banks going bankrupt. (Nov 20,
'07)
Franken Berry needs an
inflation-free diet
What is
the sound of one hand clapping while the other
hand reaches for a box of breakfast cereal and
then having to pay more for it in
dollars-per-ounce, which means having less money
for everything else including going to a bar to
get away from children whining that they are
hungry? (Nov 19, '07)
Criminally irresponsible
deficit spending
I put up ten bucks to borrow
a hundred with which to buy this debt, and now I
am down by 50%? I have lost five times as much
money as I put up! My God! My prostate
involuntarily quivers in shock, proving that there
is life in the old boy yet! (Nov 16,
'07)
The dark side of the
Mogambo
It
surprises me, as I look out of the periscope of
the Mogambo Bunker, that the world is not in
flames, and the idiots collectively known as "the
American public" are not out rioting in the
streets. Then I remember the old adage that
"ignorance is bliss". Then I remember that I am
pretty ignorant about a lot of things, too, and
wonder why I am not blissful. (Nov 15,
'07)
Cash and the commodity
craze
Look at
me! I am suddenly in the trigger swap business! I
get to charge you a fee to float a dollar's worth
of bonds backed up by a dollar's worth of your own
money? Hahaha! And there are investors who will
voluntarily do this? Hahahaha! What a racket!
(Nov 14, '07)
More generous inflation
protection
"By the way, you stupid
employees, you're all screwed! Now get your nasty
butts back to work! Work harder AND faster, you
worthless proletariat factor-of-production scum!
The central bank has forced you to work all of
your life ! Arbeit macht
frei! Work until you die!" (Nov 13,
'07)
Spending more and getting
less drunk
The world is full of
neo-Keynesian trash, although there are plenty
enough people who comprehend the lessons of
economic history, and thus gold has barreled above
$820 an ounce. Even stupid guys like me can buy
gold and prosper. (Nov 12, '07)
Painted rock predicts the
Dollar Index
"Hold the rock in an
outstretched hand, making sure the rock is well
away from your body, then say aloud 'Oh,
Magnificent Mogambo US Dollar Index Predictor,
what will the dollar's value be over the long
run?' Then let go of the rock." (Nov 9,
'07)
GDP lies and
statistics
US inflation was at a
four-decade low in the third quarter, because
import oil prices rose! The reason one plus one
equals zero, we are told is that, "Most of the
time, the government's formula doesn't produce any
weird numbers, because the mathematical quirks all
cancel each other out. But in the just concluded
third quarter, it did produce quirky numbers that
don't accurately reflect reality, even though they
are correct from an accounting point of view."
(Nov 8, '07)
Caught red handed killing the
dollar
Mr
Frederic Mishkin of the Fed has joined Alan
Greenspan, running around saying, "It's not my
fault! It's not my fault!", when the whole world
spent all that time watching him and the Fed
bludgeoning the dollar, then standing over the
prostrate, bloody body of the dollar, holding the
murder weapon in his hands. (Nov 7, '07)
Dinner roll model of Yale
economics
A
famous-yet-laughable Yale economist bonehead
thinks the Fed can "mitigate" the US housing bust
by taking "aggressive actions". This guy is saying
that there IS such a thing as a free lunch!
Hahaha! Bigshot Yale economist! (Nov 6,
'07)
Gold-flavored Napoleon
complex
I
read somewhere that the money supply in China is
growing at 20%, which proves that the Chinese
government is every bit as stupid as everybody
else's governments, in that they allow the money
supply to grow at such a horrendously appalling
rate. (Nov 5, '07)
The ticking of the oil
clock
Oil
prices will be rising higher and higher with every
tick of the clock, higher and higher, month after
month and year after year, until sometime after
you get old and die. We're all freaking doomed,
anyway. (Nov 2, '07)
Drowning in inflation is
never popular
We Americans are
no longer exporting inflation with our strong
dollar, and the tide has just started turning. The
"tide" imagery is intentional, and I am happy to
report that this also describes part of the script
of my next film, which is going to be XXX-rated.
The working title is The
Sins Of The Flesh And The Pain Of
Inflation.(Nov 1, '07)
The tequila model of
exponential growth
Inflation, by law, inflates
exponentially. I'm kind of getting freaked out
here because "continually worse" is a nightmare
from which you never awake - as you'll find out if
you try to drink a bottle of tequila
exponentially. (Oct 31, '07)
The sole inflation creator
I am beside
myself in anger. If it had not been for the
damnable Federal Reserve, we would all have a
rising standard of living, as prices would be
declining in line with productivity increases. We
would be approaching Nirvana. (Oct 29,
'07)
The tremors of economic
calamity
"What this little putz of a
'journalist' doesn't understand is that the
central banks are not a success, but are a
gigantic failure, and they fooled everyone for a
few years with their new calculations ('lying with
statistics') of inflation in prices …" (Oct 26,
'07)
Cheaper to freeze to
death
"He is
saying that you can get a free lunch with
'appropriate policies'! Hahahaha! And this guy
supposedly teaches economics at Harvard!" (Oct 25,
'07)
The red herring of dollar
decline
The
Fed and the Treasury have decided that they are
going to set up a huge special fund, with untold
billions of pretend dollars, drawing in more
investors to which the banks will sell short-term
paper to finance the bailout, so that the banks
can trade derivatives around amongst themselves,
thus establishing their "market price". This
remarkable idea has given me a terrific business
idea! (Oct 24, '07)
Dollar bears
unite
"As
soon as I open my Fat, Stupid Mogambo Mouth (FSMM)
about how all of these new dollars are such bad
news, here comes Peter Schiff with his essay 'Are
There Too Many Dollar Bears?' I immediately think
to myself, 'If Mr Schiff is going to repudiate
what I just said, then I am really screwed! Am I
ever going to be right about anything my whole
pathetic life?'" (Oct 23, '07)
'Paltry' is a laughable
distinction
A
bank loans some underpaid loser too much money to
buy too much house, on which the bank will make
some minimal profit even if he manages to pay the
mortgage, and now the government wants the bank to
take a loss to bail him out? Hahaha! (Oct 22,
'07)
Werewolves of inflation
"The government
simply budgeted more borrowing ¡ and so the
budget deficit appears lower on paper, even though
they borrowed and spent more than they budgeted!
At that ugly news, I found my hands clenching into
Powerful Mogambo Fists Of Outrage (PMFOO)!" (Oct 19,
'07)
Inflation is scarier than
skimpy pizza
No more! Please! No more bad
news about price inflation, the one thing to be
feared above all things, except maybe skimpy
pizza! But almost as bad! (Oct 18,
'07)
Trading your paycheck for a
coin purse
"The damned government has
now ruined the money so badly that the little bit
of metal in the old coins is now worth more than
the face value of the coin, but the government
can't wiggle out of paying for their sins by
letting people not pay...taxes!" (Oct 17,
'07)
Jobs fight to the death
"I could tell by
his tone that when he said, 'This is not good,' he
meant that, 'Running that close to the bone means
any systemic shock - a hurricane that damages
drilling platforms in the Gulf, a terrorist attack
on oil pipelines in Nigeria, an unexpected cold
snap in the northeast - could cause prices of
everything to skyrocket.'" (Oct 16,
'07)
The Mogambo Theory of
Currency Relativity
I bring this up because the
Nobel Prize for economics is coming out this week,
and I sure could use the huge wad of cash that
comes with the Prize, and I finally deserve it
this year, as I have just neatly connected
Einstein's Theory of Relativity with money. (Oct 15,
'07)
Gold hoarding greedy pigs
The majority
must always be wrong. It is crucial that they
remain clueless at this stage of the coming gold,
silver, oil and commodities boom, while we wily,
scheming, greedy pigs buy the stuff at bargain
rates. (Oct 12, '07)
Did he say, "Tighter monetary
policy"?
It
looks like about $15.4 trillion in bank assets and
liabilities is being backed up by a minuscule
$40.2 billion. That's a microscopic 0.0026%.
Hahahaha! Fractional reserve banking at its
finest! (Oct 11, '07)
The Rodney Dangerfield of
commodities
"As for the apparent
disrespect for silver, it's the vector you get
from history ... and the suspicion that comes from
an |
The
Mogambo Guru